Disclaimer:  I may not be interpreting their strategy correctly.

When I first started learning about Love and Logic, I read that they recommend using reverse psychology on kids to get them to do what you want them to do.

My First Reaction

No way, I consider that to be mocking!  I think it’s rude and can be detrimental to the child’s self-esteem and well being.

Further Research

They stated that using reverse psychology for things like, giving them permission to:

• stomp down the hallway
• slam the door
• punch a pillow

usually when the child is angry.  I liked the idea of giving them permission to stomp down the hallway when they are angry, it doesn’t hurt anyone/anything and I feel like it’s an acceptable form of expression for their age.  Plus they mention, when you give them permission to do something, they often will do the opposite just to show their emotions.

We Tried It

When we reached the end of our rope with our strong willed child, I decided to go ahead and give it a try.  I figured, what do I have to loose?  I gave him permission to stomp down the hallway on the way to his room and he replied, “No, I don’t like that!”

He also doesn’t like to eat much, so I decided to try it in a different way.  We will sometimes give “incentives” for our kids to eat everything on their plates (for example, when we have spaghetti, they have to eat everything on their plate before they can get a piece of cheesy garlic bread

I started telling him that I didn’t think his four year old tummy was big enough to hold all that food or that his four year old mouth wasn’t strong enough to chew all the food.  He would playfully disagree with me and usually it works, he will eat all of his food.

Use Discretion

I would be extremely careful when using this technique.  I will not use this strategy with my oldest.  He is very sensitive and just the slightest bit of discouragement/disbelief in him can send him over the edge.

However, my strong willed child thrives on confrontation and challenges.  Make sure you know your child can handle it before you use it.

We usually do this technique in a playful way.

What’s your opinion on this strategy?

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