Chores are very important if you want your children to be independent and have good self esteem! Love and Logic says, “Kids who are expected to do meaningful chores are kids who grow up to be more responsible and more fun to be around.” (156) One thing that I get very irritated with are people who have a sense of entitlement, people who think that they don’t have to abide by the rules because of their job, who their family is, etc. If anything, these people should be held to a higher standard because many times people (especially children) look up to them. Giving and expecting chores to be done is one way to teach responsibility to children, “Chores teach children how to be successful.” (156) “Kids grow up with a sense of purpose and a sense of really being needed by their families. They also grow up believing that they can accomplish almost anything if they work hard enough.” (156) Doing chores also builds self esteem, “Many of us have forgotten that happiness comes from doing great things-rather than getting great things.” (157) Love and Logic has the following to say about the importance of chores:
• “The true recipe involves giving the gift of struggle, letting them work through challenging tasks & problems, providing encouragement & unconditional love, & allowing them to take pride in their accomplishments.” 157
• Start working together as soon as they can walk
1.) Do your best to help your child learn to associate chores with good feelings rather than bad ones (turn on some music and dance while doing chores)
2.) Don’t criticize quality, focus on effort, “Wow, you’re really working hard.”
• Model doing your own chores in front of your kids
• Develop a “Toy Bermuda Triangle” (I have a very hard time doing this, in fact, I just can’t. We spent so much money on their toys, I just can’t bring myself to give them away or throw them away, so I make our kids buy them back from me! If the toy was originally $30, then their cost is $3 the first time, if they don’t take care of the toy and I have to take it away again (to keep it safe) then the price goes up every time. I figure if I have to take a toy away lots of times, then the children will eventually pay full price for the toy and then it may be easier for me to get rid of the toy!)
• Give choices about age-appropriate chores
• Do not pay your children for doing chores (I know some “experts” don’t agree with this, but we give our children tickets for doing chores and then they can pick things out of the treasure box and pay with their tickets. See more about our chores here!)
• Hope that they refuse/forget to do them when they are young (let the consequences ensue)
• “Children wind up making far fewer mistakes when we no longer fear that they will.” 161

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How are chores done at your house?