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Had Enough

 

I don’t know what’s been going on, but the last part of last week and the first few days of this week have been terrible around here.  I’ve lost my patience, my sanity, and my mind.  I have had some of my worst “terrible Mommy moments.”  At the lowest of these moments, I was in the living room and I just screamed.  Not at anybody, but just screamed.  It startled my older children and scared my youngest.

 

What’s Been Going On?

Chores have become a big problem lately.  “Why do I always have to do everything?  Why isn’t Ashlynn doing her chores.  I can’t do it without Andrew’s help.”  And this list goes on and on.  They are whining about everything.  Things that they have been doing for a long time, they are suddenly incapable of doing now.  At dinner, they are whining about what we are having, saying that they don’t  like it when they haven’t even tried it!  However, they manage to eat it all up when I start making brownies with 

in them and telling them that “Children who eat all their dinner are welcome to eat a brownie after their chores are done.”

 

Finding the Reason

Usually if my kids are misbehaving more than usual for a couple of days, I sit down and try to figure out why this may be so.

• Are the kids starting a new phase?
• Has the weather changed a lot?
• Has our schedule changed much?
• Have I gotten too relaxed on consistency?
• Are they sick?
• Am I getting sick?
• etc

My First Reaction

When my kids are acting up (especially if it’s just one specific child), usually, my first reaction is wondering if they are getting enough personal, positive attention from me and my husband.  This is usually the first area I try to make sure something happens by “scheduling” individual time with that child.

When all the kids are acting up, I tend to lean more towards how my actions/attitudes, the weather, our schedule, etc have changed.

 

This Specific Instance

I still don’t know why my kids have been so difficult lately.  Honestly, if I had to guess, I think it’s a little of everything!  I think the weather change is playing a part, our schedule has gotten a little busier since we are starting back to our normal schedule after taking a month off of most activities.  I feel like I have been trying to concentrate more on other areas of life (like getting more organized and getting myself on a different routine) and maybe not being as consistent as I need to be with the children.  I do know that the baby is growing, he’s been needing so much sleep.  We also kept the kids up late on Sunday.

 

Taking Notice

I noticed last week that behavior was not going as well as usual, so I wanted to try and plan a fun evening.  An evening that I could look forward to and an evening that would hopefully motivate the older kids to do their chores, listen the first time, and stop whining.  I told the kids that if they did their chores correctly without me having to remind them before the timer went off on the brownies, then they could take their showers, I’d put the baby to bed a little early and we would play a game and read some books before bed.  My plan didn’t work at all!  Well, I guess I can’t completely say that.  My daughter and I got to eat a brownie and play a game, but she doesn’t have as many chores as the older boys do.

It started with the whining at the dinner table, then whining about chores.  I tried my best to stay calm, I didn’t nag them, but said a couple of times: “Man, I can’t wait to start playing a game in 15 minutes.”  or “Wow, the brownies sure do smell good, they should be done in about 5 minutes.”  I still just heard whining and excuse, after excuse, after excuse.  I got so irritated that I said “If chores are not done correctly and all complete by the time the timer goes off, you will finish your chores, take a shower and go to bed early.”  The boys were in bed 30 minutes early while Sister and I played a game.

 

Plan

Even after going to bed early, it seems to not have made too much of a difference today.  So, I am planning on sitting the older kids down today and having a conversation with them about listening and being respectful.  I am going to talk to my husband about seeing if me going out of town this weekend for a family baby shower in another state could actually be possible (I really wasn’t planning on going, but I think I need some time away, I’m just thankful that we are where we are  financially, because last year, this wouldn’t have been an option because of money).

I am going to choose not to raise my voice, if it comes down to it, I will put the baby in his crib (so he stays safe and doesn’t get into anything) and then promptly put myself in time out.  I will go to my room and breathe, read, or just sit.  I will tell the kids that they can only come and get me if someone is bleeding, throwing up, or if someone is at the door.

I will choose to be calm and take myself out of the equation for a little while.  I owe it to myself, I owe it to my heart, and I owe it to my children.

 

How have your kids been lately?  How do you deal with them when you are at your breaking point?