Busyness Is a Choice
Thank you Nikki Hopewell for the picture!
I know I may lose some friends over this post, but I feel it needs to be said.
I have people mention all the time that they “don’t know how I do it all with 5 kids.”
Well, here’s my secret…… I DON’T!
Priorities
My husband and I have talked about our priorities and what we think is important. We do not think that breeding our children to have a shot at fame in sports or drama is a priority. In fact, it’s not even a dream. To be quite honest, I might be a little upset if my kids become a professional athlete or an actor.
Those things are not important to us. Instead, our focus is on raising well rounded, courteous, giving people.
In order to accomplish this, they don’t need to be involved in everything!
Yes, we want our children to have many different experiences, but that doesn’t mean that they have to become experts.
Sadness
If I’m going to be totally honest, if I hear you say that you have ball games every night of the summer or that you can’t get away by yourself for a weekend, then I feel sorry for you.
I feel sorry if you can’t come over for dinner with your entire family, simply because your schedule is too hectic.
I feel sorry that you and your family are missing out on family time and an opportunity to grow your community.
I also feel sorry for you if you are so busy that you are always eating out. I will feel sorry for you if you and your family are always sick because of exhaustion and improper diets.
To me, it’s just sad; so, so sad!
Differences
I understand that some families live for sports. They thrive on busyness. To them spending time at the ball field (all separated) is quality family time. Yes, I agree that being present is being supportive and being supportive enhances and grows relationships, but I also feel like there is a limit.
I know that everyone has a different perspective and to some people, even we are too busy. But you have to find out what works for you and your family. For us, we consider the cost in all aspects before we commit to activities. We consider the financial cost, as well as the time commitment. We also take into account what other activities we might have to say no to if we commit to this activity.
I believe that many of the social issues and catastrophes we have this day in age are due to the fact that people don’t know how to just be. They feel that in order to be validated, that they have to be busy. The busier they are, the more important they are. This train of thought needs to change and it needs to change immediately. Just because we can do something, doesn’t mean we should. I don’t want my child’s self-worth to be dependent upon their performance on the field or stage. There is so much more to life than that.
So, if you start to complain about how busy you are and you are looking for sympathy, then you need to go to someone else, because you won’t get what you’re looking for from me.
I will pray for you and perhaps direct you to resources that could help.
So, when you ask me how I do it all, I will tell you that I don’t. My kids are only in two activities at a time and sometimes, not even that many. I will tell you that busyness is a choice and we have decided against it.
Please take a look at these resources:
Dangers of Overscheduling Your Child
7 Solutions for Burned-Out Parents
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3 years
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