I believe that if you want to be good at something, then you need to be intentional about it.  I believe parenting is no different.  Being intentional takes time, effort, and energy.  I believe that if it’s important enough to you, you will find a way to make it happen.  I believe that you need to seize moments and take advantage of time when you can.

Time

Being intentional about anything takes time.  It also takes effort, energy and a plan.  This has been so much harder since my husband has been in school, but we usually plan for each of us to have a “date” with a child for a couple of hours one weekend day.  Sometimes life happens and we have to postpone it, but it is something we really strive to do.  We can really tell a difference in the children’s behavior when we have repeatedly postponed these.  Our dates aren’t always extravagant.  It usually depends on how much time we actually have, which coupons we have, and how much money we have budgeted for.  There have been many times that we just take them to a park or even with us when we run errands.  It’s not always glamorous, but our focus isn’t on the activity, it’s on spending quality time with one child.

Good parenting takes time.  Yes it’s easier and faster to do everything yourself, but many wonderful learning opportunities are missed when we do.  When my husband has work to do around the house (car repair, fixing something, etc), I usually try to encourage him to show/teach a child at the same time.  Yes it takes more time, but it’s well worth it.  He’s very good about taking time when doing yard work to show/point out things that he finds.

Effort & Energy

I will be honest.  Most of the effort and energy for the planning is my responsibility.  I’m the one who usually makes sure to keep the schedule open so that we are available.  I also keep a look out for coupons and manage the budget.  I usually ask my husband what he has planned that weekend and then say that I’d like him to go on a date with ___ and then inform him of any coupons that I have.  I love it when my kids have a teacher that participates in the Pizza Hut Book-It program.  We almost always use these coupons for dates with that child.  I also buy Groupons a lot or sign us up for Mommy & Daddy classes; this helps because I make sure we use it before it expires so that I’m not wasting money.

Other things I do to be an intentional parent is making parenting goals, making calendars for the kids so that they know what’s going on, teaching them how to do chores, etc.

Seize the Moments

I think it’s imperative to seize moments, it’s worth any bit of effort it takes to make things happen.  For instance, there was one afternoon that we only had one child because the others were all at school.  We had had an appointment earlier that day, so my husband was with us.  I asked if he could spare another hour away from work.  We seized the moment and took our daughter to go get frozen yogurt.  It’s not very often that we can have 2-1 time with one of our kids.

The other day my oldest showed me a recipe that he had found in a coloring book and asked if I could make it sometime.  I took a few days to get all the ingredients and then I asked him to make dinner one night (with Dad’s help of course).  Not only was he proud of himself, he also learned a little more about cooking and had some special time with Dad.

Quick Tips

• I find that reading parenting books helps me be more intentional.
• If you need ideas for dates, ask your child and/or really listen to them, they will usually give you clues.
• Buy Groupons/coupons/classes that have to be used by a certain time .
• Make it an official date by actually putting the event/time on your calendar.

In what ways are you an intentional parent?

Challenge

Week 1: Think of ways that you can be an intentional parent.  Think of areas that you’d like to improve on as a parent and set goals to accomplish those.

Week 2: Take some time out this week (schedule it if you have to) and teach/show your child something.  Teach them a new chore, do an art project, build or fix something with them.  Have fun!

Week 3: How are you doing on your goals you set in Week 1?  Reexamine and see if any changes need to be made.

Schedule a date with your child(ren).  It only has to be for an hour or so.  See if you can find any coupons or a good deal on something new or just figure out something cool to do that’s free!  Good luck and have fun!