There are many parenting traps that are easy to fall into, but honestly, some of them just really get under my skin!  When talking about parenting traps Love and Logic states that “The first step is recognizing that anyone can fall into them.  The second step is forgiving yourself if you have.  The third step is experimenting with some Love and Logic solutions.” 140

Jim and Charles Fay list quite a few traps:

• He’s just going through a phase
• Since we’re together so much, she doesn’t listen to a thing I say (do you think I could have gotten away with this when I was teaching?)
• Other people let him do whatever he wants (“Children quickly learn to behave well for people who set & enforce solid, loving limits-& very poorly for those who don’t.” 143)
• What can you expect, she’s only 3 (would you be able to get away with this when she’s 13?)
• Sure she’s a handful, but she’s so creative- so intelligent! (“For some reason, our society has come to associate creativity with irresponsibility.” 147)
• I tell him & I tell him, but he just won’t listen (“Parent is relying on words instead of actions.” 148)

Another one that I would like to add is, “Boys will be boys!”  I have had to bite my lips many times when hearing this because what I would love to say sometimes is something to the extent of, “I have three boys and they don’t act like that!” Now I know that kids will have good days and bad days, just like adults do (and I just so happen to be writing this on an evening when we didn’t have such a good day)!  However, there is some good news; “Imperfect parents have been known to raise wonderfully responsible and happy kids.  When we’re brave enough to look at our mistakes, there are plenty of solutions to be found.” (140). Right now, the area that I feel like I need to improve the most, is getting upset and frustrated in front of my kids, and of course, Jim and Charles Fay say, “The best way to make a nasty habit stick is by getting visibly upset and frustrated about it in front of your kids.” 144.  So now I need to head on over to step number two, try to forgive myself and practice delaying consequences! 

What parenting traps do you find yourself falling into?