I know many moms who cannot stand to hear their child cry, at all, for any reason, and they will do whatever it takes to make them stop crying.  In my opinion, doing this all the time, is an injustice to children.

My Beliefs

I believe that crying is an effective way to deal with many emotions.  It is also a part of life.

I believe that depriving children of this form of emotional release is not good and may actually make things harder for them later on in life.

Now I’m not saying that children should cry all of the time, but I feel that they should at least have the opportunity.

It doesn’t hurt to cry and there have been sometimes that I’ve been so stressed or tired and a nice cry helped alleviate some of the pressure.  Crying can be helpful in alleviating stress and when you are hurt (emotionally or physically).  However, if children are not “allowed” to cry, they tend to see crying as a bad way of dealing with emotions and will oftentimes suppress their emotions.

Disclaimer

Obviously, if your child is hurt or sick, that is not the time to just let your child “cry it out.”  Children also need a lot of nurturing in order to grow and develop healthfully.  So I am by no means insinuating that a child should be neglected or never comforted, you must use common sense and your intuition.

Some of the best advice I got at my baby shower was about crying.  They said, “If your child is NOT sick, if they have been fed, changed, and put in a safe place, it’s ok to let them cry. It’s OK!”  I really love that advice.

Bedtime

When our children are around six months old is when we start putting them to sleep in their crib, in their room.  We let them “cry it out” then.  It usually did not last for more than three nights and not usually more than 30 minutes a night.  It may be difficult to go through, but now, my children are pretty easy to put to bed and my in-laws frequently comment on how easy it is to put our kids to bed.

Getting Older

When my children were babies, I often felt like I couldn’t wait till they got older, so that we wouldn’t have as much crying going on in the house.

I’m sad to say, there is still a lot of crying in our house.  (Not as much as a newborn baby, but sometimes I feel that there is).

They cry a lot, over a sibling touching their toys, not sharing, not getting what they want, etc.  Now, when they cry, we figure out what is making them cry (usually after they calm down enough so that we can understand them), and ask them how they think they can fix it.

On the days where they just don’t ever seem able to be consoled and I am getting close to my wits end, I simply tell them (gently) that they are welcome to cry in their rooms.  Sometimes they go in their room, get their special, comfort item and cry for a little bit, and that’s OK with me!

Modeling

I am not afraid to cry in front of my children.  In fact, I think that they can learn a lot from it.  When I cry, they will usually come and comfort me and ask me why I am crying.  We often talk about the reason (if it’s developmentally appropriate for them) and talk about that it’s OK to cry.

I believe crying is healthy, what do you think?