Not everyone’s experience is the same (LifeasMom has a different perspective than I do). I have talked to many mothers and there are so many factors that need to be considered when adding more children to the family. I’ll tell you how it was from our perspective!
I was so nervous taking our first son home. I couldn’t believe that they were just going to let me walk out the door with him. It was nerve racking! Here I was, I’d babysat for years, worked in a couple of day care centers, and even gone to school and gotten an Early Childhood minor. Before having him, I thought I could handle this, I thought I knew what to expect, boy was I ever wrong. I just became so panicked when it was time to go home. I couldn’t imagine how someone who hadn’t had as much experience would feel. My mom says that sometimes ‘Ignorance is bliss,” sometimes, I’d have to agree.
Our first child was very easy! Even in the hardships of the first few weeks at home, he was easy. I’ve often said that if every child was as easy as him, everyone would want 10 without even thinking!
Then we had our second!
Our first son was only thirteen and a half months old when our second was born. However, with my first child being such an easy child, it was still pretty easy. I was very glad that I was adament about getting a huge rocker glider. It was big enough for me to sit in it with a Boppy Pillow and still have my first next to me. Since we had this chair, it was easy for me to take care of the baby and still interact with my first. We sang so many songs and read so many books!
My second child was a lot harder. We came out stubborn and very strong willed! One good thing about having the first two so close together is that my first still slept a lot, so I was still able to get in lots of naps. However, there were times it was really hard, since my first was still so young, he didn’t always understand being patient!
Along came number three!
This was by far my hardest transition! I felt completely out numbered. When our daughter was born, our strong willed child (#2) was only 21 months old, making our oldest child 34 months (almost 3 years old). Now, my boys played together very well. At this time, they even called each other their “best friend.” However, it just seemed like there were so many times when all three of them needed me and they needed me right away. Our daughter, I feel was our first “normal” child. While she wasn’t as easy as our first, she wasn’t as difficult as our second. The hardest times were when my second decided to dig his heels in and fight. When he was being extremely defiant, I really didn’t know what to do and I would get stressed out very quickly. Not to mention, my second child never slept, (and still doesn’t) so I no longer had the luxury of naps. It also didn’t take my sons long to figure out to try new things when Mommy was busy with the baby!
For me, this was by far the easiest transition! I was comfortable and had been comfortable being a mom by now. Not much scared me about babies, I knew that while they are very delicate, they are also very strong. We also had a very solid routine, so unfortunately, he had to conform to our schedule! By this time, my oldest was four and a half years old and could help me out with a few basic things (getting me things like diapers, wipes, towels, etc). Since all of my children are close in age, they do a very good job of playing well together. The hardest thing when our fourth was born, was being “referee,” however, I quickly learned to let them figure out as much of that on their own, as they could.
My fourth is into everything! We have had to baby proof somethings for the first time. If we are at home, things are usually alright, however, when we go somewhere else, I really have to keep a close eye on him. Just like everyone else, we have our good days and our bad days. There are days where I dream about having another child and then there are days when I think “I can’t even handle what I have, how could I add another child to the mix?”
All I know is that we are very blessed and we thank God often for all of our blessings!
I know that my children are better for having siblings and that giving them siblings is also a blessing.
Our love has never been divided, it has just multiplied!
What is your experience on adding children?