Jim and Charles Fay say that starting early, when your children are young will yield the best results. In their book, Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood, they discuss discipline myths (35). The myths they discuss are:

1.) Discipline and learning require language
2.) A little child cannot remember & learn
3.) Setting limits will break a young child’s spirit

I thought some of the same thoughts when my oldest was a baby, however, I will agree with Jim and Charles Fay that a child does not need to know how to talk before setting limits, that even young children can remember, and I know firsthand (from my second), that setting limits does NOT break a young child’s spirit, it actually makes him feel more secure!

Even at ten months, my youngest knows and remembers where limits are. Before we took our Christmas tree down, he would sit next to it, look at me and smile. He would start to reach for it and look to see if I was paying attention. If he thought I wasn’t paying attention, he would usually go ahead and touch it. Then I would say, “Uh, Oh” and he would let go and smile at me again! If he saw that I was paying attention he would normally turn around and crawl the other way!

Jim and Charles suggest that bonding builds trust and responsibility.
1.) Bonding requires setting limits
2.) Scared children act out
3.) “When parents offer choices, model, and make a task fun, learning happens quickly.” (35)
4.) “Children who can solve their own problems wind up feeling better about themselves.” (37)

As I mentioned above, my second child, my strong-willed child, can really test the limits! When we hold firm, he throws a fit and sometimes it would seem like we have broken his spirit. However, as soon as he calms down, apologizes, and gives the person who stood firm on the limits a hug, he then becomes their best friend and shadow!

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[amazon_image id=”1930429002″ link=”true” target=”_blank” size=”medium” ]Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood: Practical Parenting From Birth to Six Years[/amazon_image]

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