Jim and Charles Fay say that empathy opens the mind to learning. They say that it is important to give children empathy before consequences because “anger creates a child who blames others for his/her mistakes.” (89) I think this is so true, one of my sons always blames others when things don’t go his way! Love and Logic says that we must “replace punishment with logical consequences” so that we can “guide children to solve their own problems.” (90). Using empathy (such as saying bummer or how sad before delivering consequences) “preserves parent-child relationship, helps the child think more about mistake, forces ownership of pain from mistake, decreases revenge, and teaches respect.” (92). “The path to responsibility and wisdom is paved with mistakes.” (99). Sincere empathy works wonders. Sarcastic empathy results in resentment. I am very sarcastic by nature, so this is one area that I always need to work on! I have found a couple of phrases that seem to work well for me, that I can say from my heart and not be sarcastic, so I stick to those!

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